Friday, March 5, 2010
Hi to any Company Girls joining me today...too bad I can't have all of you over for coffee and treats today because I really need advice from some seasoned "mother" girlfriends. It has absolutely been one of those weeks (ok, one of those years in some regards). Every single second I have been battling it out with Reagan. Wednesday I spent some time of the phone relaying my fears to my mother in law and yesterday I spent a good portion of the evening crying on my husband's shoulder.
To top it all off, my Great Granny passed away on Thursday morning and I'm feeling raw and emotional. I want to go home to be with my family but the plane ticket for just me to fly (and leave Reagan here :( ) at the last minute is a fortune and I am so stingy about the time I do get to go home that I would rather spend it with my family when we can have some real time together--they understand, but it doesn't stop me from feeling like a heel.
And this was the week I finally thought I was going to have it all together. Funny how life just keeps socking at it you when you feel like you have it all figured out. And actually, one part of my life IS going wonderfully. My marriage for the past week has been better than it has...well, in a really really long time...years, even.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura and it was such an eye opener. I promptly changed my attitude and actions towards my husband and it was amazing to see how immediately and effectively it turned around his responses towards me.
So it absolutely took me by surprise this evening, when putting Reagan to bed, that I had an epiphany--and it really shouldn't have...taken me by surprise, that is. I realized that if I wanted Reagan to react differently...no whining, no temper tantrums, less anger...it was going to require ME changing my attitude towards her first. After all, she was only displaying the very emotions I had been displaying towards her....she barely smiles at me anymore because *I AM* always frowning at her! I've been so busy doing all the mom/wife/house things that I had forgotten my primary responsiblity---to love her and enjoy her.
It is absolutely a life changing realization to come to the understanding that *MY* emotions control the emotion of the household. If I want my child and husband to be understanding, loving and happy---***I*** must be that way first.
I told my husband this and he agreed with me on all points. The only thing left to do is take action...and Cowboy Up as he puts it.
Which brings me to needing some 'motherly' advice....when it gets all too much, how do you continue to be a loving mother and step away from displaying (and feeling) all those fustrations? I would love to hear some advice from those of you who have gone through the fustrations of raising a preschooler--especially a high needs, emotionally charged, independent and a little too intelligent one...because I want so much to be that Proverbs 31 wife and mom "her children rise up and call her blessed."
Posted by Leah at 12:00 AM