"Yes, we did produce a near-perfect republic. But will they keep it? Or will they, in the enjoyment of plenty, lose the memory of freedom? Material abundance without character is the path of destruction"-Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Families, marriage, respect...

I'm reading an incredible book, which, by the way, is not on my book list for this spring..oops! The book is My Heart's At Home by Jill Savage. I'm only a little way into the book and I have to say it is so empowering.

Jill says that the book is geared toward helping women become 'intentional moms'. The life lessons she provides are real, honest, down to earth and can be translated into our daily lives easily. She offers practical advice about making our homes a safe haven in today's world and by doing so, we are making over ourselves into those 'intentional moms' she speaks about!

Last night I was able to put one of her lessons into practice and much to my amazement, it worked incredibly well! Jill emphasizes the fact that homes need to be places where we feel respect, but it's usually the one place where we let our guards down enough that respect slowly oozes away from us. That has definitely been true in our house.

At bedtime I went in to tell Josh that we had forgotten Pritsha's (our cat) birthday. He glared at me in fustration and muttered some ill-mannered phrase. It hurt, because while it wasn't important to him, it was important to me and he could have chosen a better way to respond to me. Instead of lashing out in anger as I normally would have which would have resulted in a huge argument and dissolved into us acting like children, I simply said 'Josh, I really feel disrespected when you act like that towards me.' He was quiet for a moment and said 'I'm sorry.' He didn't ask for my forgiveness like Jill suggests, but this was a huge step forward for us--I didn't react in anger, and he apologized! Amazing! I can tell it made such a huge difference to me! I went to bed very happy instead of seething and carrying it over to poison the next day.

Then something else happened! I asked him if we needed to do something (turn on the heater for our daughter--I'm always cold..he's a much better judge of temp!) and he said 'No. I don't think so.' Then he said, 'Good idea, though!' WE WERE BEING POLITE! Normally, being polite is the furthest thing from the conversations that occur in our home! I was so ecstatic!

It just takes a simple step forward and you can make such a huge difference in your home life. I'm eagerly looking forward to more of Jill's insights into building a firm foundation for our family!

1 comment:

  1. Good for you for breaking that cycle! I know how hard it is. Another great book on this topic is 'Love and Respect.' It was instrumental in helping us get over all those little communication (or lack there of) blunders. We still aren't perfect...but it has helped tremendously. There will still be bad days when you regress, but keep on pressing on towards the goal!


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