I was taking a bunch of silly blog quizzes tonight and started thinking about how much I have changed in the last few years.
I used to be the life of the party and threw some great ones too---now I'm such a homebody I rarely see other people and my parties seriously stink!!
I used to love loud music, fun drinks, staying up til 3 a.m. and phone calls all night--now I prefer quiet evenings, hot tea and getting into bed early...and God help you if you call during dinner or past 7 p.m.!!
I used to spend a fortune on clothing--now I spend a fortune on Reagan's clothing, or crafts!
I used to have tons of boyfriends and would sometimes have as many as three dates in one day--now I'm in a committed marriage and haven't had a date night with my husband in months!
I used to have a million friends that were with me all the time---now most of my friends are far away and the ones I do have here, I see only once a week or less!
I used to think the world revolved around me, me, me---now I know for sure it revolves only around Reagan!
I used to think looks were important---now I haven't shaved my legs in weeks! (I'm a MOM give me a break!!)
I used to eat (or drink) every meal away from home because I didn't own a pan---now I have an entire binder of recipes and whip up from scratch meals for my family all the time.
I really have changed. Sometimes I feel like I've lost my identity. Like I've become someone I hardly recognize. But I like some of the changes--actually most of the changes. But I guess what I miss most is that fun-loving, lighthearted, confident in any situation, part of myself that I used to have.
I'm trying to make it a priority to get that part of me back. I think Reagan deserves a mom that feels confident in herself and happy about life in general. One of my new years resolutions for 2008 was to be come confident in being a mom, but in order to do that, I think I have to become confident in being ME again. Being happy with myself and my life is an important part of ensuring that Reagan will be happy with me and her life, too.
I read this on someone else's blog and thought this was a good time to share it. It's a quote from William Henry Channing:
To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony.
Such a beautiful quote.
A symphony. My life. My changes. Then. Now. All blending together to create a beautiful symphony. I want to allow my symphony to play out and be heard and become a beautiful tune that enriches not only myself but others who hear it. I want to become the person I was, the person I am, the person I am meant to be. Here's to a symphonic 2008.